8am Day 5 NLP Practitioner Training. After the Parts Integration last night, my subconscious awoke me with a terrible nightmare bearing an unmistakable message. As much as you think you want a relationship there is a part of you sabotaging it. Do the exercise on this part NOW before you do anything else.

Rae told me she had 15 minutes; I process quickly; let’s do this!

I invited the part of me who didn’t want to be in a relationship out, a teenage me suddenly stood in my left hand hysterically screaming and shaking her head. She was so panicked that I couldn’t reach her through the screaming to find out what she needed.

“What does the other part of you who wants the relationship look like?” Rae asked, and I turned my attention to my right hand to find my future self, happy and calm in a loving relationship.

She was definitely better qualified than me for this, I had her talk to my teenage self.

“Men abuse us!” my young self screamed hurling images of her first boyfriend raping her, humiliating her, destroying her belief in herself. “All of them!” more images, so many, of all the men after that, all hurting, all abusing.

The goal of the exercise is to have both parts realize they share the same highest intention, that they are both part of a larger whole. When this happens the hands literally come together on their own, and the integration happens.

The thing both of these parts wanted was to be safe and protected in strong loving arms so no-one can hurt them any more.

Suddenly the energy of my future beloved was there, drawing my teenage self into a warm, protective embrace.

I wept as she finally stopped her terrified screaming and was held in safety after all these long years.

It took less than 15 minutes.

I am so grateful for this powerful work, for Rae, for my unconscious for being so clear about what I need to clear, and to my future beloved for being the safe harbor I have longed for my whole life.

Time to prepare for the last day of training!