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I confronted my biggest fear today

3 weeks ago I had sharp heart pains followed by 48 hours of extreme tingling down the left side of my body. The EKG showed abnormal heartbeat and a ‘left bundle branch block.’ The tingling didn’t go away, nor did the numbness and weakness in my left arm.

Yesterday I saw a chiropractor who said, and I quote “Yeah dude, you’re all fucked up.” Then vigorously cracked my spine while asking me “So, how old is Olivia Newton John?” – I’m in Southern California.

Then I saw a Cardiologist who listened to my heart for about 15 seconds, agreed there was an abnormal heart beat, and told me he’d like to do tests but they are thousands and thousands of dollars, and he didn’t think I was at risk. “If it gets worse” he said “Go to the ER.”

This morning the symptoms were worse, so spurred on by my Facebook Family, I moved through a deep terror of doctors and an extreme prejudice of the US medical system, and went to the ER.

I’ve been more damaged than helped by western medicine throughout my life, but there is a time and place for it, and I was having all the symptoms of a female heart attack.

As they were hooking up the EKG I flashed back on the core of my fear. After I was brain injured by a drunk driver at 24, I spent 18 months being shuttled around to various specialists as they tried to figure out what to do with me.

In the final procedure they didn’t tell me what they were going to do, they just hooked me up and gave me electric shock treatment.

That was the moment I swore I’d never let myself go back into the system again, I became a holistic health practitioner.

Now here I was, terrified, broke and alone in hospital room, in a country renown for fleecing its people through outrageously over priced pharmaceutical based disease prevention.

I had a panic attack. And in accordance with this year’s transparency resolve, I posted it in a cry for help on Facebook. The prayers came flooding in.

I felt them enfold me, I read them all, and took them in deeply, they brought me back to myself. They reminded me, I am loved, I am safe, I am not alone and without resources.

“Please can I have some physical confirmation as well as electronic assurances? I REALLY need someone to hold my hand.” I asked God.

Minutes later Big Al appeared in the room, he took my hand, heard my fear, and reminded me of Who I work for. “Everything is going to be alright” he told me, I believed him.

I was restored enough to use my tools. I used TLT to clear the electric shock trauma; Did the De-worrying Process from my book ‘No Worries, Mate!’ around my financial concerns. Brought my stress back to zero with the techniques from ‘Clear stress in less time than it takes to find the Valium’ then brought out the snacks I’d packed, turned on the tele to watch cartoons, and let myself relax.

I had faced my biggest fear and come out the other side.

At that moment Carrie arrived, and I laughed to think that she had been delayed until I could prove that I was still walking my talk. Within minutes I was asleep.

5 hours after being admitted I was told I am NOT having a heart attack or stroke, I just have a ‘funky’ heart that takes it’s own sweet time in beating. – and there’s that left bundle branch block thing, but a lot of people have that apparently.

I still have all the symptoms I went in with, but at least those two big things are ruled out. A neurologist is next according to them. According to me it’s more chiropractic, but probably not surfer dude.

I am so grateful to my Facebook family for all the prayers and healing sent my way, and especially to Sage who took me to the ER, Carrie who took me home, and the people who were willing to physically be there with me.

I am grateful for the staff at Scripps Encinitas ER, especially Big Al for being the angel God sent to reassure me, and nurse Chi for her ‘magic vein finding eyes.’

I am so grateful for the tools and skills that got me through the fear and out the other side.

Click on the links in this post if you need help with scary situations in your life. I guarantee they work.

Big Al <312039604_10153792798697214_1815218718964407053_n

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