Who I am NOT

JOY DISCLAIMER

You’ve read my bio; my life created who I am now, and who I am now creates a lot of misconceptions. SO, let me tell you who I am not, so if you are inclined that way, you can get over being scandalized that I don’t behave the way you think I should.

I am NOT a GURU, I’m not even a guru, nor do I have a guru. I have nothing against them; I just don’t feel the need for one personally.

I believe that the master is the one who creates the most masters.

I am not an angel, saint, or any other heavenly being, nor do I have any desire to be. I like angels very much; I work with them as a matter of course. I am not one.

I dedicate myself to teaching people the fast, easy, fun ways I’ve discovered to live more joyfully and less stressfully, because it’s how I make everything that happened to me make sense.

I want playmates and fellow adventurers, not followers.

I am not a devil, dark entity or witch. I’m not even wiccan, though I have many wiccan friends.

I am renown for putting my foot in it, and making horrible gaffs that can make people go from loving me to deciding I’m some kind of terrible person. For some reason people love to build others up so they can knock them down.

Do NOT put me on a pedestal; the first thing you will see is my clay feet.

Thanks to the drunk driver who hit me when I was 24, I had to reprogram my neurological pathways to bypass the damage and access different parts of my brain. Instead of being brain dead, I became an idiot savant.

I ‘look normal’ but operating in 3D isn’t easy for me. I effortless access other realms and dimensions to bring back solutions to use in this one. But I might have difficulty finding my way round the block or using a phone.

My life circumstances and heritage have made me an ideal channel for Divine Will.

People find me inspiring because since July of 2000 I have operated with no fixed abode and no set income. I have been traveling the Northern Hemisphere, in complete service to Upstairs Management, relying on God for pretty much everything – with limited logical thought processing available, relying on myself simply doesn’t work.

I’ve found God is much more qualified than me to guide where I go and what I do. As long as I leave the details to Upstairs Management, eye popping miracles are manifested through me daily.

I bring hope and help to the world because people look at my life and say “Good grief! If she can do that, I’ve got a chance.”

I’m learning as I go, just like everyone else. I’m a master of living in the moment because not much outside of the moment exists for me. I can’t plan ahead and I can’t remember back. I can listen to the same CD over and over, never knowing what comes next.

I don’t remember what people look like. If you are sitting in front of me and I close my eyes I have no idea what colour hair you have or what kind of skin you are in. Don’t take it personally when I don’t know who you are. I don’t remember what I look like either, I’m always a bit startled when I look in the mirror.

Please be kind and introduce yourself with your name and a reminder to help me find the thread.

Everything is always new for me; I never get tired of the miracle of hot water or the wonder of trees, or the amazement of finding myself in a human body. The flipside is that it can be difficult for me to remember stuff like how to wash dishes, or use the computer.

Things are rapidly improving as I continue to work on re-establishing the neurological pathways in my brain. All it takes is dedicated repetition, sadly follow through is not my strong point.

Fortunately I have found a natural product that has massively improved my brain function and memory and overall health in the last couple of years. YAY!

I don’t know how to ‘take it slow’, I only know what’s in front of me, and like any one of us, I only have this moment in which to live. After many walks with Death, I live in full technicolour, no apologies, holding nothing back, following the 11th commandment:

Thou shalt not bore God

I have a personal mission to make each life that I touch better. I am not always good at that, but I do always go my best. All I can ever do is my best, as I learn more my best gets better.

I am not a vegetarian. I have the soul of a vegetarian, but I was raised in New Zealand, in a meat and potatoes household, in a country with 3 million people, and 60 million sheep. We ate a lot of lamb. It’s still my favourite food. I choose organic free range foods and take great care to bless my food and raise its vibration with gratitude before taking it into my body.

I also drink wine with my meal, preferably Pinot Grigio or Reisling. I have been known to smoke pot. I don’t do chemicals of any kind. I can teach people to get high off a single hit of marijuana, and how to get high off life.

I don’t do yoga – at least I haven’t to date. I am quite looking forward to starting. I am sure I will say “Why didn’t I do this YEARS ago? I feel so much better!” I just haven’t gotten round to it yet.

I don’t care a whit for fashion, I wear whatever pleases me, and I don’t own a single pair of heels.

I’ve never owned a credit card.

I don’t bullshit, I don’t see the point. I was raised in a culture that says what it means and means what it says. If I don’t like something about myself so much that I have to lie about it, I’ll just change till I do like me. I don’t have the memory required to lie.

I don’t beat around the bush. Don’t ask me a question you don’t want me to answer truthfully. Tact is not my strong point, this is unlikely to change because I like that about myself… then again, everything about me is subject to change without notice, so who knows, a more tactful JOY maybe in my future.

I am always finding ways to improve myself, I ‘upgrade my software’ at least once a month, reviewing my beliefs, making sure none are past their use by date. I am frequently horrified to discover things I have been doing that could have been done SOOOO much better, and will be now that I know.

Please leave your assumptions and expectations at the door.